Belated Summer Solstice Vows : Buy Secondhand

Some will think I’m crazy, but fundamentally,  I believe that the members of multinational corporate boards really do  sit around asking themselves, “How little can we invest and still keep The Public  anesthetized?”

And then, as with any market survey or drug trial, they measure the results.  Will The Public doze fitfully  through the theft of its savings if we distract them with cheap reality programming?  If  The Public Beast stirs in agitation,  either the dose or the specific soporific/narcotic will be changed.

My mental state aside,  (I just heard The Natural Resources Defense Council attorney all but say that hydraulic fracturing is a done and protected deal) …

I vow never to buy brand new or retail products whose ads feature:

1.   human domestic males dumber than posts;

2.   human domestic females more viperish than Voldemort;

3.   disclaimers longer than the ad  (e.g. “… not for use by women who are pregnant or children who walk  on two legs and plan to reproduce one day….”;

4.   the words,  “The Surgeon General…,” “We’re on your side,”  “rosy” or “daisy-fresh”;

5.   perfect fruits and veggies that shine like waxy goo;

7.   “homemade anything” in a  box or can;

8.   people in a bath of gauzy, fantastical light;

9.   mean-spirited babies;

10.   financial institutions “that are with me during the hard times.”

11.   realtors intoning, “Now is the time!” while flying around in hot air balloons;

12.   alternative energy from companies who (by law, they’re people)  have poisoned the planet for decades;

13.   unctuous, compassionate tones;

14.   insurance companies  who  cradle me from birth to grave but pay  my Congresspeople to kill a single payer plan.

Please make a vow and  share it with the rest of us  in the comment box below. 

One thought on “Belated Summer Solstice Vows : Buy Secondhand”

  1. i soo ]o ohhh agree with the produce. it’s scary what’s in our food. check out the documentary “king corn”, and also i’m hearing a lot of hype about “food, inc”

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